Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
