I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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