my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize