I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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