Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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