I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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