like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She bit a glass in half.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
