Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting

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(310): View more from California

I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

(1-310): View more from California

Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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(407): View more from Florida

I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

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(516): View more from New York

She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS

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(561): View more from Florida

Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch

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