We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
