sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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