I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
