i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
