Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
