Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
