my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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