I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize