Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
