do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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