i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
