i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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