Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
