You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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