Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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