She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
