is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
