you would pick up someone in the library
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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