Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize