i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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