i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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