my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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