she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
