Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
