So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
