...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
