THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
