i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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