i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nutella sex= disaster
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
