I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
