I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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