Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
