Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
