I wanna passion pit in your ass
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
