Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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