I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize