oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
