I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
