I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
