You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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