Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
