are you so shy because you have an std?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
