Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
