we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
