No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
