You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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