i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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