You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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