Who did Billy Mays play for?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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