honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
