in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think people are normalizing furries
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
