Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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