somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
