Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
