You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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