dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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