how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
